Weekly diary 4

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Before i start off my weekly diary, i would like to add tribute to my Grandad who passed away sadly on Valentines 9 years ago. He was the rock of our family, the glue that bonded us and my best friend. Its sad to say that family has never been the same since and i have lost huge bonds with my close ones. Christmas dinners and family parties no longer exist for me and its sad. I have not got a relationship with my dad. – My mother, grandad and grandma were the people that raised me. I may not have achieved the goals i set out to do, and have made some mistakes and life is pretty crappy right now but i  do hope he is proud of me. I try not to be sad on this day anymore because i can’t help but feel that he was reunited with the love of his life, where he can continue to spend eternity with my beautiful grandmother. My memories and love with never fade for my him and my grandmother…. Always in my heart.

 

Let’s kick this off with a good round up of my week. Petty simple, i stayed up late Sunday to watch Wrestling. I have done ALOT of crocheting in the past week, as well as Minecraft on the PS4. I’m waiting for Skyrim so pretty miffed it’s not arrived yet. Today (V-DAY) i had another interview, its for a part time job. Which i wanted but the hours are slightly lower than part time, but its permanent and i really nee that stability right now as all of my jobs have been disappointing due to them being temporary. I’ve fell out of my anxiety and depression and i am feeling really positive and excited. I aren’t too sure why but i think it may have something to do with my blog. I know I’ve only been doing this for a few weeks (4 to be exact) and few people that read and acknowledge has been a really nice boost for me. Not to mention that i think i am on form with my craft – I have so many ideas right now but i can’t do anything about them as i only have one pair of hands. I am though planning and designing a TwinkleHook logo which i’ll be ready to drop at this weekend. To me that’s exciting because i am determined to keep this blog going and my crocheting, its the most positive thing i have right now!

The rest of the week has been the usual, i did suffer two days with what i think is a tension headache. I’ve been having these for a good few years and i also wear glasses but i think a phone call to the doctors is thing. I mean being honest, since living in this flat I’ve not felt healthy or right in my body. It must be the damp and them bastard bugs i moaned about!
Also, my breathing. I am smoker and really unfit so i can’t help but them both together and use this as a wake up call to make some changes in my life, again that’s something that needs to be checked. Wow, the boring stuff. I find it really hard to get appointments with my doctors. Ring at 8am, wait to be answered and hope they have room to fit me in, so up early tomorrow – I’m already living surviving on 4 hours sleep today, Netflix got me hooked.

With it being Valentines, i spent the afternoon with my mum then came home and cooked for my boyfriend. Even though its a sad day, i really do think it’s overrated!? Why spend so much and do all these crazy things for one day. I get you want to embrace the love a little bit more but i mean, bleugh. I’m such a debbie downer.
Me & my partner aren’t into the whole lets show off our relationship everyday on social media. We post a picture together every few months – Just to clarify we still exist and we share and tag each other in silly meme’s even though we live under the same roof. Welcome to the modern day!

Oh anyway, i cooked chicken with black bean sauce. I had to cook the mushrooms separate as i am the only one that likes them. Really don’t get how people don’t like ‘shrooms and some people don’t even like tomatoes, what is that! Here is my small area of prep i didn’t actually take a picture of it all cooked because things happen like my battery dying.

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It tasted nicer than i thought, i cooked the rice really good but burnt the pot. It’s not because I suck the pot is really cheap and i don’t like spending money on cookware.. Which i should because i like cooking and that chopping knife is crap, seriously i hurt my wrist every time with that thing. Cheap ass stuff doesn’t always do you favours! Times be hard though.

As i am going to wrap this up, i would like to just take a few moments to think about people who are alone – Especially today. I know today shouldn’t make a difference but when you have love and all sorts of crap being thrown about, i understand it can make you feel shitty. Even those that are suffering with depression (as i do) who may also be feeling even more sensitive. It’s okay to be on your own sometimes, you don’t have to worry about people coming in your home touching your stuff LOL!

Enjoy your evening where ever you are guys and  stay safe 🙂 xoxo

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