Weekend diary – It’s okay that I don’t have kids.

I wasn’t really going to post again but things have been bothering me and as you can tell by the title its about motherhood – And a little bit more.
(PLEASE READ THE LAST BIT ID LOVE FOR THIS TO BE A THING!!)

As the world grows, we grow. The population is expanding and I didn’t really notice this in highschool or even younger that the urge to have children either young or in general grows increasingly popular.
Now I’m not here to throw statistics because this post is coming from the heart, and hopefully anyone else that is kind of in this situation.

So firstly, I don’t dislike children, I don’t hate the idea of being a mother and I sure as shit don’t hate anyone that embarks on becoming parent. It’s really not about trashing parenting or kids – It’s the people aka parents or society’s treatment towards those who don’t have any at all.

What bought this on? Okay, I am 26 pushing 27 and every now and again I think about having a baby and how cute and awesome it would be to have a mini me. I get kind of sad that I aren’t already a mother because most if not all people that I know/friends are already parents or becoming. So when I see this, it upsets me even more – But that’s actually another reason which we will get at.
I then ask my boyfriend about the subject of kids and you know I think because he’s this typical guy its like ‘lets not talk about that’ or ‘don’t want kids’ I used to get upset with his reactions but then I actually realised I really aren’t ready to commit to having a baby. I am not in love fully with the idea of becoming a mum.
Because once that moment of sadness goes, I’m like kids what the fuck no.

Which is good right? I know that I am not ready, well I don’t think a parent really ever is but the mental idea of being a happy family is not my thing. In fact seeing the amount of people with children just lately is really annoying as hell… I mean come on, don’t you ever feel like people just NEED to plaster it ever about how awesome there child is, how big the baby’s first shit was or the constant updates of someone that is becoming a mother. The pregnancy process is the same right? I don’t need to see 100 females on my timeline complaining about the the same shit to do with being pregnant.
I literally had to stop following a youtuber/crocheter because her weekly vlogs or any kind of vlog/blog was constant pregnancy and I just don’t get excited for people who are pregnant..

Which is something else, I literally don’t care. Your pregnant yay, how am I meant to react? Okay babies are super cute and I love crocheting baby items because they are waaaaaay prettier than some of the stuff for us adults!
Like I’ve said, I don’t had kids!

Okay, so most of my friends or people I know have kids. It’s all super cute at first and I am genuinely happy for them because they are glowing, excited and shopping for adorable things but then it’s 4 hours later and I am bored. Once the baby is born its all cute and you weirdos want to sniff the baby, you want to support your friends and be for them as much as possible because you don’t need to have a child to understand how difficult it is raising a baby – AHEM like I’ve said I have one million friends who have kids and social media. Put the two together you never stop hearing about it.
Plus it’s kind of common sense, I can’t imagine the stress especially if your not getting much sleep – Enough of being sympathetic here.

What’s happening is that, even though my social life lacks. It really does, I don’t see friends or have friends to go out with drinking. It’s me, my boyfriend and my cat – The only friend I do see has a baby and I probably see this person once in a blue moon.
So when I say my social life sucks or I am alone I really am.

Right back on track  – So because I don’t have a kid, I don’t get invited out to parks or enjoy a day at the beach, In fact I’ve hardly seen any of the sunny weather the UK’s been getting because all of the people that are my friends go out with each other or with others because they have kids to have fucking play dates with.
This kills me… it really hurts.

I’m a human being, with needs and a heart. Me not having a child does not make me less worthy than someone who is a mother. Just because I don’t have a baby to talk about or have baby talk with also does not mean I am not interested. I also don’t understand the constant comparisons – Yes being a parent is tiring and you may of not had much time to your self but my life does not compare. Without a kid, I still have busy days and moments where I can’t even eat lunch.

It literally feels like I am pointless, I am not even the person that gets used as a last resort.

HEY WORLD! I don’t have kids and you know something, I don’t have that feeling yet to be a mother – I might not EVER have that constant yearning, I mean every now and again its nice to think about but these past months I’ve really learnt things about myself.
Who knows what my age will or if at all? My cat is enough for now and my god damn boyfriend and mother!

I or anyone without a child should not be branded or looked down at! We are people, we are still contributing to this world and as far as I am concerned I am making cute shit for babies – Even if it means using my cat as a model! WE are still worthy of your time, honestly I could really do with a social setting. I kind of hate that the real friends I’ve kind of made over the years are online, i’d love to do a meet up!

I love every single one of you that has  child, I have so much respect – Keep rocking it!

I love writing random posts like this but I would love to also to a weekly chit chat with me kind of thing so if you fancy joining in on a conversation with me on a post drop me a comment with a subject you’d like for me to talk about!
Literally, anything and ill have a moan or just a fun post – Okay I am ready to hit the sack read my book, which I cant wait to finish and I think i’ll have another review sooner than I thought!

Have an awesome weekend, and guess what?!?!?! I started to crochet today only a little bit because the weekends are now a kind of me thing and I always have shit to do like the pointless stuff, food shopping blah blah.

Please refrain from posting any hate comments or negativity. This is not a slanderous post and If you don’t like my ‘honest’ views just click off my shit.

P.S Am I sad that I bought a back pack for my two day trip next week LOL I can’t stop looking at it I want to pack it already haha – Also if you have a Primark store they do a waterproof mac that folds into a pocket for like £9.00 worth getting if its a  bit rainy or something light to wear if your out.  I need a new one because it’s green and I don’t like it anymore, plus because it’s from cheap ass Primark where slaves make the clothes the button on the pockets broke.

RIGHT – Going now bye.

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15 thoughts on “Weekend diary – It’s okay that I don’t have kids.

  1. I’m 29 and getting really sick of doctors asking how many children I have, rather than IF I have any. Having children has turned into this really big Thing that we’re automatically meant to want just because we’re female, and if we don’t then there’s something ‘wrong’ with us. And don’t even get me started on the whole baby-soaked social media thing. UGH!

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  2. I’m just catching up with all my blogs and come across this one. We’re close in age, I’m 29 and I have my 2 kids already. The reason I’m pointing this out is to highlight how everyone is different. Since I was 21 I was desperate to be a mum! I didn’t have my daughter until I was 26 (actually 3 days before my 27th birthday) but for those few years of not being a mummy, I knew it’s what I wanted. But that’s me, and that’s ok that I wanted it, just like it’s ok that you don’t want it right now – or ever. My sister is your age and she feels exactly the same; she doesn’t need a child to feel complete. I actually think it takes more balls to stand up and say that you DONT want a baby!
    As for plastering pregnancies, babies and children all over social media; I agree. I only ever posted once during both my pregnancies with about 10 weeks to go- I didn’t want my pregnancy to have been everyone else’s business… in case something went wrong! Luckily all was fine with my daughter, but my son was premature and was actually born 6 days after the ‘bump’ photo. We then never posted anything about him until he was home and safe. I have a lot of family so I use my social media to keep them involved; otherwise they would all be at my house every day! But it’s occasional photos – and I’m a ‘real’ mum, I don’t just post the good… I will be honest about the not so positive aspects of parenthood because I believe it’s important not to put a fake image of being a super mum out there, it’s unrealistic and it’s impossible to keep up.
    I recently shared 1 photo of my little boy on my Instagram with a keepsake another talented lady had made for us, and that will be the only time he appears on my Instagram. His story is special and he’s a fighter, still fighting after his early arrival, but that’s HIS private story so he won’t feature on MY crafting page – if that makes sense?
    Anyway, you’ve got a fur baby (and believe me; I know my 2 fur babies are also very demanding 😉) a supportive partner and you know you’re not ready for parenthood. That’s the most important thing; YOU know it. Some people are ready at 21, like me, and it’s ok, whatever your feelings about parenthood 🙂 I enjoyed this blog as it’s made me have a good think xxx

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    1. I know the feeling about catching up on blogs lol!! This comment is so perfect, you are literally the person/parent that everyone should be. I mean I wasn’t intending on this post to come across as harsh because I can’t imagine how exciting it is to have a human being grow inside you, and social media is literally the it factor these days so I have nothing personal about wanting to share you life with those around you online especially if you don’t get to certain people a lot. It just bugs me that it has to be constantly 100 photos or updates everyday, like they are the only ones who have kids ya know? I’m so happy that you have a beautiful healthy child, I bet is so scary when they are born premature? so I totally have even more respect now for parents that have to go through that. I saw that picture, that lion was the cutest and your son is gorgeous 😀 Thank you for sharing your story ❤ ❤

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  3. Honestly I so agree with you. My feed on social media is just full of baby stuff and I don’t really care much for it. I feel like it would be more important to actually focus on your kid rather than posting everything on social media. Right now we have only a few friends who live close and none of them have kids so we don’t really feel any pressure and it’s good! Probably helps that we’re all nerds 😂 I wish we lived closer, I would definitely get drinks with you and invite you over for dinner all the time 😘

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    1. Exactly if they have time to post all the time what the heck are they doing lol! There’s only so many awww look at my baby pictures I can take :/ it doesn’t help when sorry to say some are ugly haha. Awww I would love that! Maybe one day a huge meet up would happen and we can sip wine in France or something 😂

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  4. Good post ! Become a mother if and when it’s right for you and your man !
    I have one son, had him at 32 so I was considered older..
    I occasionally post pics of him and updates because we have distant relatives that like to see some of the school stuff he does… Other than that I don’t post perfect family stuff … We are anything but. I am soo happy my son is 15, because it was damn hard when he was little ..he is more independent now and I have time for my hobbies !!! I was not built to have gobs a lil ones running around. I was so stressed out and worried the whole time… I look back and wish I could of relaxed and had more fun with him and our situation… Anyways I had one and one is about all I can sanely handle… Hopefully I do an ok job of launching him into the world !
    Anyways do what’s right for you! Families come in all shapes and sizes and fur too!

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  5. I perfectly agree with Tami and Robin! I have one son and when I became a mom I was 34. When I was 26 I didn’t want to have children, I wanted to have fun with friends, to travel around the world and things like that… You have time to be a mother, you are so young Rebecca! I wish you a wonderful week end from sunny Milan!

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  6. I have 2. My sister chose not to have any. A friend of mine has 4. One friend had her children very young while another was “over the age” most people have kids. My one son has 2 kids, the other one (your age) says he isn’t planning to have any.

    My point is that I love each of these people equally and having (or not having) children doesn’t make anyone any better than anyone else.

    And besides the point… being a cat mommy counts. I was a cat mom before I had kids and I’m a cat mom now that my kids have grown up. Trust me, cats need almost as much care as the kids did. 🙂

    I love all of my online friends and I wish we could all get together, maybe at the beach, maybe at a coffee house, or anywhere for a big reunion! That would be so much fun!

    I hate fake Facebook people and their perfect family posts too but I do love Facebook for making it possible for me to find old long lost friends and to keep touch with distant family members and friends.

    I think I know how you feel though, I’d love a friend nearby to go shopping with, or out for lunch with. We moved cross-country a while ago and all of my real-life good friends live in another state. I don’t know why but it’s hard to make “in real life” friends as an adult. It’s much easier online. 🙂

    I’m glad we connected!

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    1. Exactly how it should be, no one should be judged. And totally agree with being a cat mum I literally feel like he’s a baby and my god the stuff he mews for LOL

      I think in the future we should do like a mini vacation somewhere in the world for a week! But yeah Facebook is really good for finding lost friends etc and without it I wouldn’t have the crochet groups or local events etc so it has its positives.

      It really is hard to make real life friends as an adult because if you start chatting to people you don’t know if they are going to think your insane or nice lol! Im also glad we connected 💜

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  7. This comment is everything! You really are right about facebook, I remember it being a lot more social back in the day and it literally is just a place to brag about everything and broad cast your entire life. It’s crazy! I have a few people who I basically may of lived with and sat through the birth of there child as every day it was at least 2o updates an don’t get me started on the I love my man shit etc. So I totally get your point on the fake exciting lives, why do people feel the need to shove ‘children’ and the ‘perfect family’ aspect down your throat, because if it was that busy and that perfect you sure as shit wouldn’t need to post on facebook or social media, in fact you wouldn’t have the time!! I will deffo do a post about that using the kids as props because it does happen! I would not want to have my child if it was that I had any plastered all over social media and the internet because you really don’t know who is seeing your life. We totally get that you want to share happy times and posting the odd photo is okay but fucking hundreds? I mean what is with the whole oh look at my child look at me blah blah its a dangerous world! It’s like you say, they want you to believe they have a perfect life but they don’t. They try so hard to prove it because they are lying to themselves – If other people can see it’s perfect then they convince them selves it is. Leave your kids out of your fake life and just go out for one day with your family without showing off your shit!!!!!!!!!!

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  8. Good for you!! I love this post!! I have 3 kids all grown up now but even I get bored hearing about baby stuff sometimes. I don’t use facebook but I’m sure it’s crammed full of baby/toddler/child/pregnancy stuff. What I really think is out of control is how parents end up making their children part of their fake perfect exciting virtual lives. That’s what I would love to hear your thoughts on. We already know that so many people on social media try to make everyone believe that they have AMAZING and PERFECT lives – but that is usually just an illusion. They spend hours setting up and staging the perfect pictures so that everyone will think they have perfect lives. But they don’t and I am sick of there being some sort of implication that I must be missing something in my less than perfect life. Guess what perfect social media people – I’m happy as can be in my NOT perfect life. And I think it’s awful that some people are using their children as props in their perfect photo shoots. I think that a lot of parents are sending the message to their kids that their self worth is measured by the number of “followers” and “likes” they get. Get off the damn facebook and go outside and play with your kids without fussing to take the best “Look how happy and fun we are” pictures. Fuck the perfect picture and just focus of making REAL memories for YOUR KIDS and not fake memories for stupid facebook timelines.
    Okay I’m done now. 😀 😀 😀
    Oh and if there wasn’t an ocean between us I would hang out with you EVERY day!!! 😀 😀 😀

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